
The Top 14 Signs You're at a Bad Air Show
From Geoffrey Willis of the Nieuport Builders Mail List
Alright, well, it's rude but funny. Enjoy...
14. It's running way behind schedule after 2 1/2 hours of blimp stunt flying.
13. While loop-de-looping over the audience, the "Amazing Olestra Wingwalker" leaves some accidental "vapor trails."
12. Highlight of show is flyover by TelStar Model XC29-3 Communications Satellite .
11. The only Stealth Bomber is someone in the crowd who obviously had a burrito for lunch.
10. You're watching the show from a ski-gondola in the Italian Alps.
9. "Blue Angels" run around the runway with their arms out in a line making motor noises with their lips.
8. Low-flying daredevil aerobatics accompanied by the lilting strains of "Rocky Mountain High."
7. For the kids: free balloon rides with master balloonist Steve Fossett.
6. Hey! Is that a rope around Peter Pan's waist?
5. Final score: Girl Scout Skeet Shooting Team 3, Blue Angels 0
4. "Fifi the Wing-Walking Poodle" has tell-tale nail holes in her feet.
3. Skywriting exhibition consists of the letter "I" and a lower case "l".
2. "Stealth fighter" exhibit looks suspiciously like an empty field.
and the Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad Air Show...
1. "Flying Tigers" show turns out to be 37 stray kittens and a catapult.
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This is an old one, but good to bring up every now and then. The pseudo-German gets people's attention:
(roll your cursor over the graphic if you are pseudo-German impaired)
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Overheard on Center frequency:
Center: "Flight XXX, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
Flight XXX: "Roger, but we are at FL350, how much noise can we make up here?"
Center: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?"
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