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We hope that Professor
Langley will not put his substantial greatness as a scientist in further
peril by continuing to waste his time and the money involved in further
air experiments. Life is short, and he is capable of services to humanity
incomparably greater than can be expected to result from trying to fly
New York Times, December 10, 1903
(The Wright Brothers Kitty Hawk Flight was on December 17, 1903)
From the 6/30/97 
Internet site:
SHORT FINAL...
His aircraft badly bashed by tall corn, the pilot was doing
his best to explain to the FAA guy why there was no fuel in the tanks.
Suddenly his tale was interrupted with a crucial question.
"This really wasn't the field I picked out," he said. "I
realized I was too high to make the first one so I had to take this one.
I was on short final when it hit me. I didn't know whether to land WITH
the corn rows or AGAINST the corn rows. What is the standard corn field
landing procedure?"
Without batting an eye the inspector replied, "The standard
corn field landing procedure is to buy gas at the airport."
The pilot stood there blinking for several seconds, before
he answered.
"Oh."
Fighter Pilot Stuff
Current and former fighter pilots,
don't get mad at the Webmaster
The jokes below are attributed to:
From: "Michael J. Marron" mjmarron@gate.net
-
How many fighter pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. He holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.
-
What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? God
doesn't think he's a fighter pilot....
-
What is the difference between a fighter pilot and a pig?
The pig doesn't turn into a fighter pilot when it's drunk.
-
What do fighter pilots use for birth control? Their personality.
-
What is the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet
engine? A jet engine stops whining when it pulls up to the gate.
Here's my personal favorite:
-
What is the ideal cockpit crew? A pilot and a dog. The pilot
is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case
he tries to touch anything. -- Mike Marron
From the 12/23/97
Internet site:
SHORT FINAL
Student pilot to irate instructor:
"You're simply impossible to satisfy. I just finished navigating successfully
through a boiling fluid swirling around a rotating sphere that is hurtling
around a fusion reaction source at thousands of miles per hour. This system
is moving in a circular motion around a black hole at who knows what speed,
while the space it takes up is expanding.
And then I bounced the landing six
inches. SIX MEASLY INCHES! Get off my freakin' back!"
Oshkosh
'98 Fun
THIS SIGN APPEARED IN A WINDOW OF AN
AIRPLANE IN THE PARKING AREA:
(Maybe we should do the same at
Boshears or the Wrens Fly-In!)
**************************************************************
From the 7/27/97
Internet site:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"No, I Thought You Did the Preflight . . ."
It seems two men recently decided to go for a joy ride
in a Beech Baron 58. According to the NTSB, several problems arose, though.
First, it didn't belong to them. Second, the pilot had previously had his
license revoked, so neither had a valid certificate. Third, it seems they
both had been drinking.
According to the NTSB, the ensuing takeoff was anything
but uneventful, with the twin apparently using the full 7,198-foot length
of Runway 17L at Oklahoma City's Wiley Post Airport. It then continued
600 to 800 feet beyond the departure end, where the Baron struck the localizer
antenna. Undaunted, the now-bent bird blasted through the perimeter fence,
then across a ditch and a road, finally coming to rest some 50 feet beyond.
Subsequent investigation revealed that the nose landing gear and the main
landing gear collapsed, and the leading edges of both wings were damaged.
No surprises there. Then a fourth problem was discovered: the elevator
was missing. It seems the owner was having the airplane refurbished, and
the elevator had been removed for maintenance.
This page last updated: Who cares!